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Beautiful, isn’t it! No, not always. sometimes it is what it is. A mess!! He says he loves you but treats like trash. He never admits when he’s wrong, and taunts your life with every mistake you ever made.
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Oh sure, he motivates you, when it is convenient to his time and energy. But you really need him he is never there. He’s never actually for you, his friends are his life. He makes ample time for them. So there is not a real marriage, a least from my point of view.
I have to stop procrastinating. I am at the brink of forever at the top of the mountain, I must never come down for no reason, than to say hi to a few friends and that’s it.
My future is bright and clear. I can see it for what it really is. I am physically, spiritually, psychologically, and mentally ready for whatever comes my way. Even it does not appear that way to many. But I have to keep on reminding myself, when God says I’m ready then I am, at least in His mind anyway.
My honestly thinks my husband hates me, he treats me so cold and distant. I have never seen a man who hates me so much. Well, it did say, “for better or for worse”. In my case, it is for worse.
Nothing I do is ever pleasing in his sight. He hates everything I do. He is displeased with everything I want to achieve in my life. He is dissatisfied with the friends I meet. It seems he wants me to be lost and confused, and never confident, bold and courageous. It seems I should not excel in my accomplishments, which are many at this stage.
Sadly, I do not care what he thinks anymore. You knew who I was or wanted to be before we got married, then what is the problem.
But for the life of me I cannot be negative, I have been blessed greatly by my Father in Heaven. He is always nice to me. Well it is expected, we are first married to the Father of lights before we are married to anyone else. He treats me like I deserve to be treated everyday, despite anything I might do or say.
God is truly a Problem-solver. He never looks for ways to debilitate (weaken) me at any moment. He is the motivator of motivation. He pushes me for greater things that is always beyond my wildest dreams. Tells me “it ‘s a breeze”, go for it!!
My audience is God, no one else can captivate my spotlight better than Him.
What a husband to emulate? His words, His seasons, His music, His charms, His truth about me, He knows better than I know myself.
So you know what that means, my husband knows nothing at all about me, he just thinks he does. He will have to start all over. I guess!!
I am the center of everyone’s attention, and it feels great to be here. I am in the limelight of my life, this is better than being in Hollywood (which should really be Holy-wood), soon to come!
He said he planning a birthday party for me, what is it going to like? I have never done anything with Anton before, and I mean absolutely nothing. We have never gone anywhere together before. So I am sure it is going to feel awkward. Who would believe this is my husband?
We are not even close. He knows where I am, he knows what I do, but that’s it.
He says I am his ‘Sunshine’, who would believe that? This relationship feels like a hateful bashment. I feel the presence of God’s love daily, and I experience all types of his love, not just Godly Love. If were in love, my Gosh!
God is capable of prolonging a thing until His Will is done, he’s great at that.
Humiliation is key, the satisfying statements that make my day great every day. The more humble you are or the more patient you become it is where you perceive the climax of getting to the places you belong to.
But then when your purpose is to Disappoint, life begins to function the way it always suppose to. You are called to triumph above all odds and trials, and then see these opportunities and count them as Joy. James 1 vs 2-8.
The Will of a man is to do what you are sanctioned to do. You are called to bring peace and light into the world.
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Life is made to be lived and lived well, to the best of your capabilities. Do not do things that will snuff out any chances of excelling the way God wants you too, or most importantly the way you should.
You are not in this world to be liked or loved!!
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